Original Post by Liz Dowling:
I met with Alex Johnsen Tuesday night, we spent some time at the beginning hearing more about where we live in the Denver Metro area, our current careers and more about our backgrounds and education. It was great to have some time in the beginning to get more familiar with each other, which made it more comfortable when diving into questions. In my personal situation of working remotely and only having one colleague who is my supervisor, it was nice to have some more social time on a quiet work day.
Alex shared that the social assessment including the four types have been the most noticeable skill that he has seen utilized at work. He has been able to identify his co-workers’ personality type. Alex did identify using the recommended tactics to better communicate with each type has been challenging because not one colleague is 100% driver or amiable or analytical, but rather more of a blend of types. Over Zoom, Alex used non-verbal cues to support our conversation and ensuring that he was actively listening. I also appreciated that he empathized with my challenges when I described what challenges I’ve been presented with different personality styles.
I felt as I did understand Alex’s story well coming from a similar biology background and did my best to not decide before he finished his thoughts. I thought conversation flowed easily, we both asked great clarifying and follow up questions that could have continued into more topics if we both had the time.
References:
Lyon, Alex. Year (n.d.) “Effective Listening Skills.” Communication Coach Alex Lyon. YouTube. Nov. 20, 2017. Video, 5:26. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwWj_SfDpzg
Navarro, Joe. 2015. “Keynote: The Power of Nonverbal Communications.” CMX. YouTube. Nov. 4, 2015. Video, 34:10. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRl0dvPRkSI
My Comment:
Hi Liz,
Great point that people appreciate empathy. Further, just as Joe Navarro (2015) mentioned, we need to honor the law of mirroring. We can set the tone to receive empathy by focusing on hearing the other person with a tender heart. I can improve at having better empathy by not judging the other person as feeling sorry for his or herself. Instead, I want to honor them for being so open with me and see myself as a supporter. Alex Lyon (n.d.) explained listening for the big picture emotion and connecting with it is a key to active listening (Lyons n.d.). Therefore, deciding that the person should be more strong when they are talking about struggles is only going to hold us back.
It’s also awesome that you feel as though the conversation could have continued if ya’ll had more time. There’s value in holding a conversation in a way that does not radiate a desire to get out of it as soon as possible.
References:
Lyon, Alex. Year (n.d.) “Effective Listening Skills.” Communication Coach Alex Lyon. YouTube. Nov. 20, 2017. Video, 5:26. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwWj_SfDpzg
Navarro, Joe. 2015. “Keynote: The Power of Nonverbal Communications.” CMX. YouTube. Nov. 4, 2015. Video, 34:10. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRl0dvPRkSI
Reply by Liz Dowling:
Mary,
I like your point made that we should honor the law of mirroring. This comment made me think of an interview I just had where I was able to practice this concept. I have had conversations with a national director for a position, he is fast-paced driver personality and I felt the need to mirror his energy by being a little louder. This past week, I had an in person with him and his supervisor, the executive national director. I started the conversation ready to mirror the National Director’s energy but quickly realized the executive national was a calm, quieter, collected personality. It surprised me but I adjusted my energy to a cooler one and adjusting my stlye to listen more, which I think he appreciated.